Skinny Faery

Teagan is home yeah i'm so happy she's doing great thank god

hey everyone i got back from the hospital yesterday and i'm doing good and so is my little angel, doctors have told us that she isnt as sick as they had thought and will be able to come home as soon as she hits her target weight which will probably be a few weeks!
Shaun and I have decided to call her Teagan Rose and her is a little pic of her

this is shaun here,kelly wanted me to post here for her to share our good news

ok she since last posted things got very crazy on the 20th we rushed to the hospital because kel had severe pains in her stomach and our doctor told us that she was in early labour they were able to give her something to hold it off we were both extremly worried because she was only 27 weeks she was kept overnight and released the next morning but that night we were back in the hospital again as her waters broke they did an emergency c-section and we delivered a very very tiny baby girl she has been taken to a special unit as she is very small and needs some helping breathing we have yet to decided on a name and we hope to update soon with some more good news

thanks Shaun!

Okay so alot has happened lately i've moved house about a month ago as my house was getting a little crowded and me and the bf have gotten a nice 3 bedroom house to live in that's close to both our family's! We've been decorating like mad trying to have everything done before the baby comes and we've gotten the nursery and our bedroom done now we just need the downstairs to get finished

Also Shaun proposed :) although we dont plan on getting married for another few years yet maybe when the baby is a couple of years old
well that's all for now i'll post again in a few days

a pic of my huge bump at 26 weeks!!!!

So since my last post i've been doing alot better i'm slowly gaining back the weight i lost and getting the help i need the following days after i spoke with the doctor i went into the hospital because i had some stomach pains they checked me over did tests and all that and thankful everything is alright baby is doing great considering all the purging i did which makes me really happy

I really want to have a girl but when i think of all the things i'm going through with my ed i think do i really want my daughter to grow up in a world where the media tells you that in order to succeed you must be thin!

Ok so after posting here yesterday i ended up breaking down and told my boyfriend his never really understood my eating disorder but has always been supportive so after a long talk we decided i should go to my doctor which i did today it was hard trying to explain to him but he was very understanding and gave me alot of support so as of today i'm going into outpatient treatment to recover which i'm scared about but really is the right thing to do

I just hope i can beat this!

ok things have been really shit lately as much as i want and need to recover for my health and my babys i'm terrifed of getting fat everyday i see myself getting bigger and i know it's supposed to be a joyful experience but i just cant get my head around it i feel disgusting i feel really pathetic because i cant get over this i dont want to lose my baby and i dont want my baby not to have a mother because i'm ashamed of being fat! I've been keeping this to myself i havent told anyone but i just needed to get it out in the open because i think i'll crack up if i dont after i eat i've been purging to stop myself from getting bigger worst thing about this is i've been telling everyone that its just the morning sickness I'm so ashamed i need help fast otherwise i know something bad will happen!

[] I am shorter then 5'3
[x] I think I'm ugly.
[x] I have many scars.
[] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x ] I have a tattoo.
[x]I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I have/had braces.
[] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.


Family/Home Life //♥

[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[x] I've lost a child.


School/Work //♥

[] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[] I almost always do my homework.
[] I've missed a week or more of school.
[] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment //♥

[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public

Health //♥

[x] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling //♥

[ ]i've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x]I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ]I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x]I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[x] I've been to the Eifel Tower


Experiences //♥

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[] I've seen a meteor shower.
[] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing
[x] been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships //♥

[ ]I'm single
[x]I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ]I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumper more than the dumped.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x]I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x]I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x]I've kept something from a past relationship.


Sexuality //♥

[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[]I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I've hooked up.
[x] I've had sex.
[x]kissed a stranger.


Honesty/Crime //♥

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house/friends house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.


Drugs/Alcohol //♥

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink. not anymore though
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months
[x] I've smoked weed, and I think it is good for mankind
[x] I've smoked cigarettes/cigars
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with depression.
[] I take anti-depressants.
[x]I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x]I've woken up crying.


Death and Suicide //♥

[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism //♥

[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random //♥

[ ]I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] i twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] i love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love
[] i am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly
[ ] I believe in ghosts.

[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] My answers are totally honest


credit to modeldreams

i know i havent been around lately i've been very busy with work and
trying to recover with the help of my boyfriend i've been doing well so far
i've managed to go from 95lbs up to 110lbs which i wasnt too happy about at first but its for a good reason which is i'm pregnant
I'm so happy about it as is my boyfriend when i found out i new i had to recover i dont want to endanger my baby and want them to have a healthy mommy

well these last few weeks have been so shit i've binged constantly for two weeks it's so disgusting how fat i've become need to fast so bad have to get back down to 100

i knw i havent updated in awhile i've been real busy with work plus i wanted a break frm lj
not much has happened lost some weight but it's not enough need to get back down to 100 currently i'm at 125 which is utterly disgusting cant stop binging and purging!
good news though is i'm not cutting as much anymore it used to be like twice a day
where now it's every once in awhile i cut last night which was the first time in three weeks
which i was so proud of wanted to last the full month but i really needed it last night
also it's my birthday on saturday cant wait getting a digitel camera finally
well that's all for now!

-K-

yesterday was my first day of my fast and i did really well all i had was two red bulls and an apple i only had the apple b/c a co worker asked why i wasnt eating and they've noticed before that i dont eat so i ate the apple just to show that nothings wrong

today has been good so far havent eaten anything yet just had a bottle of water and some energy pills feeling good about this fast really could do with getting rid of this extra fat

starting my fast today for three days then keeping calories low on sat and sun hopefully i'll do good today should be no problem as i'm in work from 12-9 so i wont eat anything same for fri and sat hoping my mam wont be home on sunday as she watches everything i eat and i'll know she'll say something if i dont eat enough well heres to my fast


-K-

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	High
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Disorder:	Very High
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

found this test and geez it really sounds like me lol how disturbing!

hey,

decided to take a break which was why i havent updated the whole point of the trip was to feel better clear my head but instead i ended up binging and purging which i'm not happy bout the is the first time i binged in 2 months and i'm really pissed off! got so angry i cut loads of times my arm was so sore for days afterwards but it's managed to heal pretty good not alot of noticeable scars thank god dont need ppl bitchin to me about it right now

-K-

Well nothing really has been happening lately just been working trying to have a life
Have been drinking way too much lately having at least litre of vodka a night and popping pills
like mad too really need to stop thinking of just going away with some friends for a few days
just to take a break from all the shit i'm going thru right now could really do with a good laugh

Well finally able to update! so much has happened since i've last been on my aunt had a baby boy he's so cute
well that's about as much good news i've had in the last two weeks!

First of all i went out for my BestFriends bday on the 16th and 17th and i was really looking forward to it until my other friend Dar came we have a history he was my first love and he's with sum other girl now and she told him to stay away frm me and that really hurts b/c we've known each other since we were five and we're really good friends but we also really like each other and i just got so upset when i saw him and how he barely aknoweldged me that i got really drunk and ended up in the Toliets crying and wanting to cut but i new i cudnt b/c i was staying in my friends house and had no razors with me due to an incident at my 18th bday wen i got very drunk and upset that i slashed my arm to pieces and almost passed out in the toliets in the nightclub! so i dnt bring razors out with me anymore if i'm drinking Then on st paddy's day we went out to a local club Barcode and i was just really depressed and utterly disgusted with how i looked i pretty much kept to myself the whole night!

Also my mam has been at me lately about my 'eating habits' as she calls them asking what i've eaten when i've eaten its really starting to bug me god i wish i didnt live at home i have no privacy whatsoever she goes thru everything my rubbish to see if i've thrown out food what i've been looking up on the internet!

Stupid life!

-K-